Sunday, October 3, 2010

Struggles as a Parent...

Hey Everyone ~ Thanks for joining me and our family for another week!  As most weeks, it has been a challenge mixed with joy and accomplishment.  Our Foster Daughter is continuing to make great progress and is continueing to adjust and bond with us.  Jeremy is still learning to adjust but is doing better.

Today we attended a birthday party for a good family friend of ours and of Jeremy's.  It was a great party at a park in Williamsburge underneath a pavillion and it was great fun despite the rain.  Our Foster Daughter, as usual, like to explore and walk around as much as possible.  Think about it ~ if you spent nearly 3 years in a pack and play, wouldn't you want to explore as much as possible?  She played with the other children and seemed to get a little frustrated as they ran around the pavillion because her little legs just weren't quite strong enough, but she continues to make progress being in the different social settings that we have exposed her to.

One of the gifts in the "Goodie Bag" was a light up toy.  I have seen these before.  They have a handle and a ball at the top that lights up and swirls around in the ball on top.  Anyway, the kids really enjoyed them and have been chasing them around the house.  Great toy for rainy days when we can't go outside to play!

Jeremy was playing and chasing our Foster Daughter and bumped her in the forehead.  Eric and I took the toy away and Eric decided to take it a step further.  While Jeremy cried, Eric took the toy and broke it in front of Jeremy.  I did not agree with this and felt it was uncalled for and unneccessary.  Not so lovingly, I told Eric that it was wrong and something his father would have done.  Boy, were those fighting words!

Instead of being angry with me, he went to Jeremy and apologized, nearly in tears.  I know Eric doesn't want to be anything like his father, and we are committed to parenting with love and using each mistake as an opportunity for learning.  This lesson, however, was more for the grownups.  While Eric would not be happy that I am sharing this story with you, I think it provides insight into a deeper lesson that we all need to learn.  Most people take the way that they were parented and incorporate the good while leaving the bad behind.  Sometimes, we all have those moments, where we act or speak just as we swore would never do.  I'm sure my husband can provide many examples where I speak or act just like my mother, and to me, that's not always such a bad thing.  I am proud of the way I was raised and appreciate my parents so much more now that I am a parent.

It's easy to focus on the flaws of others, especially our parents.  It is entirely different to have a quality that you find so unfavorable of your parents pointed out to you as you make a mistake.  There are lots of things that Eric and I wish to do differently.  We take being parents very seriously and are very involved in our children's lives and upbringing.  There are many MANY instances of things that have happened to us that would NEVER happen to our children because of our parenting and because of who we are raising our children to be.  We are not perfect, but we certainly wish to instill the values and morals in our children that we find important to raising responsible, respectful, and productive adults.  My children are a reflection of my parenting and I take that very seriously.

This week, Savannah got new flowers.  I had the idea of a hanging basket that a friend of mine does for her brother's gravesite.  Being a Wedding Planner, I had the idea of a flower ball that a flower girl might carry but on a larger scale.  It turned out lovely and I was able to place it in the middle of Savannah's neighbors so that all of the babies can enjoy her flowers.

I will post a few pictures later ~ but props to the Floral Department at Ben Franklin in Newport News.  They do the BEST work!

I think that's all for now.  I wish you all much love and peace from our home to yours.
~ Shannon

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