Thursday, September 23, 2010

Where does being "right" really get us?

I have often wondered where does being in the right really get you at the end of the day?  You can have all the facts and have all of your ducks in a row, only to point out someone else's faults or shortcomings or beliefs.  Maybe you proved your point, but at what cost?  What good comes out of being right?

In life, we are taught not to be "righteous."  What does that even mean really?  Dictionary.com defines righteous as (1) morally right or justifiable of a person or conduct (2) perfectly wonderful, fine and genuine.  I could make lots of arguements about situations (I'm sure we all could) about times and situations and conflicts where we were right.  Whether it was a decision by a friend that you found to be hurtful or political views or a situation involving someone else's family, there are lots of times when we only have our eyes open to our views and nothing can stray us from that strong belief.  I have often been called strong-willed and opinionated and full of convictions.  I always thought this was a good thing and something that defines me as a person.  I have no problem telling off someone who stole my parking spot at the commissary or who cut in front of my grandmother at line at the grocery store or even the doctors at the hospital where Savannah was born.

I think we can all agree that my blame towards that doctor and the hospital is rightly so, but at the end of the day, what good comes from it?  Being right about sensing something was wrong didn't prevent Savannah's death.  I can't make her come back.  Monday quarter-backing only does so much since we can't go back and re-do anything.  The self-blame that I feel over what happened is something that I can never let go of and don't get me wrong ~ I rightfully so blame that doctor.  But what good does it do?  Does it put me ahead of anyone else?

Calling out a friend on a decision that she made that was hurtful to me, making her feel bad about herself and pointing out a mistake ~ really, what good did that do?  How many times have I said or done something stupid and been fortunate enough to have friends and family that love me and we able to give me a pass?  Why can't I do that to others?  Why is it so important to be right in an argument?  What did I really succeed in doing, other than making someone else whom I care about feel badly about their thoughts or words or actions?

In dealing with my grief, I cannot let the ignorant things that others say get to me and in the same respect, I should not feel free to tell them so.  I need to continue to practice restraint and reflection and thinking before I speak or act.  Do I really need to honk at that person who cut me off?  At the end of the day, what good came from all of that nonesense?  It certainly isn't something I want to teach my children and it doesn't reflect well upon me as a member of society.

I think this is a good lesson for everyone to learn ~ think before you act or speak and really reflect on all the times people gave you passes when you said or did something that you're not proud of and make sure to give those passes away freely to others.  Being right does not make you a better person and at the end of the day, being righteous only makes for a close-minded person.  Make sure to practice lots of unconditional love.  Now that is something I want to teach my children and a personality trait I want to be known for!  :)

Have a great weekend and thanks for reading!!
~ Shannon

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