Friday, April 13, 2012

Savannah's Life ~ nearly 3 years later

As we are approaching Savannah's 3rd Birthday in Heaven, I have been reflecting on her life and how it changed me and the lives of so many others.  As I write this, I am still unsure of where I am in the grieving cycle.  I still have bad days and sad days; days when I would give anything to go back in time to May 17th and done something to save her life.

Nearly 3 years later, I have felt a need to release ~ to release some of the anger, release the hurt, release the pain, release the anxiety, release the sadness, and release the grief.  I give it all over to God to guide my heart and my life just a little closer to Him.  I try not to think about the sadness of what was lost in Savannah's life and replace it with gratitude for the time that we did have and what her brief life brought into your world and our hearts.

Savannah is at peace in a world with no pain and no sorrow and although we feel those things here, we look forward to the day when we can all be reunited together again as a family for all of eternity.

I have written about this before, but each of us has purpose and meaning to our lives.  Savannah fulfilled God's purpose, but we still have work to do.  There are people to help, strangers to become friends, and hurts to heal.  We each have a mission.  What is yours and how do you plan to use your life to fulfill it?

Tomorrow, we will gather with friends and family to Welcome Irelynn to the World.  It is bittersweet in many ways, but mostly because we will gather to celebrate Irelynn's life in the same place where we last gathered with friends and family following Savannah's funeral almost 3 years ago.

Cherish each moment with your family and remember to always be thankful for your blessings in life.  If you have a roof over your head, food in your stomach, clothes in your closet, and the love of family and friends, then you are truly blessed.

~ Shannon

Sunday, April 8, 2012

Happy Easter

Christ is risen!  He is truly risen!

This is our family outside of Church on Easter Sunday morning.

After Church each week, we visit Savannah.  For some reason, today was especially hard.

This was our family Easter picture just 3 years ago, before our world was completely shattered:

 And now, we have a new precious miracle to love and enjoy.  We still miss Savannah every single day, but our hearts have widened to embrace and love Irelynn.  She is so special to so many people.

Happy Easter!  I'm so proud that we have chosen to teach our children that these holidays are not about Easter Baskets and candy, but rather what Jesus endured for our sins so that we could live eternally in Heaven with Him and with Savannah.

~ Shannon

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Happy 3 months to Irelynn!

I cannot believe we are here, but Irelynn is 3 months old!  The time has gone by so quickly.  As I look back, it seemed as though my pregnancy crept by at the pace of a snail, and with good reason.  However, now that Irelynn is here safe and happy and healthy, the days and weeks have just flown by!  I'm torn because I am enjoying every second and at times I wish she would slow down, but I am so eager for the future.  She has developed her own personality, but overall she is such a happy smiley baby!  She loves her big brother, she sleeps 9 hours through the night, and loves to coo and dance to music.

At her last appointment, on her 3 month birthday, she weighed in at 12 pounds, 7 ounces and is meeting and exceeding all milestones.  As for me, I would be lying if I said I wasn't a total mess.  This is not only a milestone for Irelynn, but also this marks 3 months that I have not totally freaked out, wrapped my child in bubble wrap (although the thought has crossed my mind a few times), or refused to leave the house for fear of the world.

I tried to explain this to a friend of mine recently ~ I really thought my biggest challenge in life was getting pregnant.  Once I got pregnant, my worried immediately turned to staying pregnant.  After that, it turned into having a safe delivery.  After she was home from the hospital, I became fearful of SIDS, cancer, car accidents, viruses, and anything that could potentially harm her.  My pediatrician gave me a stern talking to about being overprotective.  It was easy for him to say ~ he had never buried a child or taken just about everything in life for granted just to have it ripped out of your hands when you least expected it.

But just like I did when I was pregnant, I pray to God.  I thank him for today and I pray that he will give me one more day with my family.  I am thankful for the gift of today because tomorrow is never for sure.  Sometimes I have to stop myself from those anxious thoughts once a day and sometimes 25 times throughout the day, but when I pray, it seems to end those anxious thoughts and brings me a sense of peace.  Just like with my pregnancy, I can only control so much and the rest is up to God.  He gave my husband and I three of the most precious gifts ever and we make sure they each know every single day that they are a special gift from God.  Throughout all of the pain and sorrow, we are filled with faith and hope for the future.  I have Savannah and all of the lessons we have learned from her life to thank for that.

~ Shannon