On Thursday, we traveled to Raleigh to see Danny Gokey in concert. I was super excited to see the live performance of an artist whose music really helped me get in touch with my deep dark feelings of grief over the loss of Savannah. I thought since he only had one album that he would only be playing 4 or 5 songs. We arrived at the North Carolina State Fair and it was unlike anything I have ever experienced. I have been to a fair before but nothing like this! It was almost overwhelming. They had all of the fair favorites ~ funnel cakes, corn dogs, corn on the cob, and fresh (I think) lemonade. I was shocked at the lack of healthy choices and felt like my arteries were clogging up just by being around so much fried food. Who knew that you could fry candy bars, ho-hos, and twinkies? I think I remember hearing about it once, but I didn’t think it was actually true. Well, today as we were walking, I saw a sign for “Krispy Crème Cheeseburgers.” I thought I must be reading the sign wrong. I wasn’t. Check out what this looks like (note ~ I did NOT eat one, but I found the concept intriguing enough to take a picture).
We walked around and I noticed that every food choice was available from a different vendor about every 20 feet so if you missed one funnel cake trailer, there was another one selling the exact same thing in about a 60 second walk. I have never seen anything like this! We came across a pig race. I also have heard about these but never saw one live nor did I think they were actually done in like a side-show fashion. The pigs were cute, then the goats, and then some ducks. Now I can say that I have attended a pig race. It’s always good to be cultured, right?
Finally, it was time to get into the concert and get in line for the Meet & Greets. We found our seats and I headed off, leaving Eric and Jeremy behind. I was surprised at how many people were there, how large the stadium was, and how many people were really crazy about meeting Danny Gokey. I had no idea he was so popular. We walked back down below the stage, around and around, past his dressing room and into a large room with mirrors on one side. I was somewhere in the middle of the line. Finally, Danny came into the room and began taking pictures and signing autographs. While I was waiting, I was behind a great group of older ladies (probably around my mom’s age) and they all had matching T-shirts on that supported Danny’s Charity. The lady behind me was chatting about where I was from and when I told her Virginia, she said that the ladies in front of me were from Texas. I asked if they were in town for something else and they informed me that they only traveled to attend Danny’s concert and that they had been to the last 25 concerts he had. I was shocked! That is some dedication. I asked the ladies if I was correct in thinking Danny would only be doing 4 or 5 songs because I knew with a concert starting at 7:30pm and Jeremy’s usual bedtime being 8pm, our time before meltdown city was limited. She said that when he opened for Tim (McGraw) that he did 4 or 5 songs but since he was headlining, he did a whole 14 song set! Oops, I guess I misspoke! And who knew that the North Carolina State Fair was considered “headlining?”
It was a great concert and Eric and Jeremy lasted for 5 songs and I wanted to stay until I heard the song that meant the most to me, “I Will Not Say Goodbye.” I was worried when he started singing songs that weren’t on his CD but from his American Idol Days. Since that song is his current single, I was worried he might do that one last. Luckily, it was the next song. YAY! I was very moved that he dedicated it to anyone present who had lost someone special and to all of the military men & women serving our country. It was very sweet and I cried through much of it, but sometimes, that’s what you need to do right at that moment.
And somehow, that’s exactly what I needed. With today being October 14th and tomorrow being October 15th ~ National Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Day, it was so meaningful. Since I am away and won’t be doing radio interviews this year, like I did last year, I am looking forward to a peaceful day reflecting on what was and what is, not on what should have been. I will never be able to change what happened that day, even though I would give my life in a second to switch places with her. I accept Savannah for who she is, where she lives, and what she means to my family. We love her with all of our hearts and will always keep her alive within us. Her treasures are still here to share and we will keep sharing them until we are together again.
I read a quote today that said there are 2 things as parents we should bequest our children: one is roots and the other is wings. Savannah has both, so I guess as parents, we have done our job. But then again, a parent’s job is never really over, is it?