I cannot believe we are here, but Irelynn is 3 months old! The time has gone by so quickly. As I look back, it seemed as though my pregnancy crept by at the pace of a snail, and with good reason. However, now that Irelynn is here safe and happy and healthy, the days and weeks have just flown by! I'm torn because I am enjoying every second and at times I wish she would slow down, but I am so eager for the future. She has developed her own personality, but overall she is such a happy smiley baby! She loves her big brother, she sleeps 9 hours through the night, and loves to coo and dance to music.
At her last appointment, on her 3 month birthday, she weighed in at 12 pounds, 7 ounces and is meeting and exceeding all milestones. As for me, I would be lying if I said I wasn't a total mess. This is not only a milestone for Irelynn, but also this marks 3 months that I have not totally freaked out, wrapped my child in bubble wrap (although the thought has crossed my mind a few times), or refused to leave the house for fear of the world.
I tried to explain this to a friend of mine recently ~ I really thought my biggest challenge in life was getting pregnant. Once I got pregnant, my worried immediately turned to staying pregnant. After that, it turned into having a safe delivery. After she was home from the hospital, I became fearful of SIDS, cancer, car accidents, viruses, and anything that could potentially harm her. My pediatrician gave me a stern talking to about being overprotective. It was easy for him to say ~ he had never buried a child or taken just about everything in life for granted just to have it ripped out of your hands when you least expected it.
But just like I did when I was pregnant, I pray to God. I thank him for today and I pray that he will give me one more day with my family. I am thankful for the gift of today because tomorrow is never for sure. Sometimes I have to stop myself from those anxious thoughts once a day and sometimes 25 times throughout the day, but when I pray, it seems to end those anxious thoughts and brings me a sense of peace. Just like with my pregnancy, I can only control so much and the rest is up to God. He gave my husband and I three of the most precious gifts ever and we make sure they each know every single day that they are a special gift from God. Throughout all of the pain and sorrow, we are filled with faith and hope for the future. I have Savannah and all of the lessons we have learned from her life to thank for that.